Why are fire engines red?

Fire engines are red and newspapers are read so that makes 2.

2+ 2 is 4

4 x 3 is 12

12 inches is a ruler.

Queen Elizabeth is a ruler.

The Queen Elizabeth is also a ship.

Ships sail in the sea.

Fish swim in the sea.

Fish have fins.

The Finns fought the Russians.

Russians are red.

Fire engines are always rushin’.

So therefore fire engines are red.

About 15 miles from my house a highway sign is counting down the days until Judgment Day with this stamp of authority “The Bible guarantees it”. Yes, judgment day is less than 2 months away on May 21, 2011 according to this sign. Where did this date come from?

In case you haven’t read the supporting material permit me to summarize it. The coming judgment of God upon the world is 7000 years from another judgment, the Flood, and that would be May 21 of this year.

To arrive at this conclusion the promulgator of this idea has come up with a date for the flood (after having researched this with Bible scholars) that becomes the basis for calculating the final Day of Judgment.

God was patient with the people who lived on the earth in the time of the flood and gave them seven days to get on the ark. However, the seven days of Noah become 7000 years by misreading 2 Peter 3:8 "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day".

In 2 Peter 3:8, which is quoted above, Holy God reminds us that one day is as 1,000 years. Therefore, with the correct understanding that the seven days referred to in Genesis 7:4 can be understood as 7,000 years, we learn that when God told Noah there were seven days to escape worldwide destruction, He was also telling the world there would be exactly 7,000 years (one day is as 1,000 years) to escape the wrath of God that would come when He destroys the world on Judgment Day. Because Holy Infinite God is all-knowing, He knows the end from the beginning. He knew how sinful the world would become. (Quote from the website of Family Radio)

What the writer conveniently forgets is that if 1000 years are as a day so also one day is as 1000 years. So the calculations may be off by 6999 years and 359 days. If this is the case the judgment is past.

Now I admit God may come in judgment on May 21, 2011 (however, that would contradict my theological view of the rapture) but it won’t be because of the calculations. The calculations don’t prove a thing except the arrogance of Mr. Camping.

As with the argument for red fire engines we can prove almost anything if we assume a lot and pick the verses we want to use.