Jumping to Conclusions

Did you read about the scientist who was doing research on frogs? He was trying to figure out what made them jump.

He began by putting a frog on the floor and clapping his hands behind the frog. The frog jumped. Next he cut off the frog’s left front leg and clapped. Once again the frog jumped.

Then he cut off the frog’s right front leg and clapped. He moved to the left back leg. Each time he clapped his hands and each time the frog jumped. Finally he cut off the last remaining leg, placed the frog on the floor and clapped. This time the frog didn’t jump.

The scientist went over to his desk and wrote this note in his journal “When you cut off a frog’s legs it goes deaf”.

Having determined the cause of the frog’s inability to jump the scientist was now ready to suggest a cure—a hearing aid.

And so it is that in a small research lab someplace in the United States there are hundreds of legless frogs wearing hearing aids.

Does this sound hard to believe? Similar inferences are being made today in the United States regarding alcohol, drugs and sex. Researchers have correctly determined there is a problem but they have drawn the wrong conclusions.

Several surveys note that drug use among teens is rising. Twenty-four percent of eighth graders are using illicit drugs according to a report by the Department of Health and Human Services.

Another recent survey found that 18% of eighth graders and 24% of ninth graders are regularly drinking alcohol.

Accompanying these statistics on drugs and alcohol are the statistics on adolescent sexual activity. Almost one million teenage girls will get pregnant this year. Forty percent of those pregnancies will end with abortion.

These same young people also run the risk of disease, dependency, and depression. And the situation worsens each year.

Survey after survey correctly determines there is a problem. Yet the cause of problems has been often misdiagnosed.

Some say the problems are caused by lack of education. So we begin to educate young people about drugs. Now we have well-educated drug users. They know exactly what drugs they are using.

Another researcher says the problems of young people are related to health. So we try to improve the health of our young people. We now have quite a few healthy delinquents. A lot of healthy young people are engaging in behavior which isn’t healthy.

Others say the cause of the problems is economic. What we need is better jobs and more money. Then why are so many rich kids doing drugs?

One of the greatest researchers who ever lived, and also one of the wisest, not only documented the same problems but also correctly determined the cause. He said the cause of these problems is values—not health, wealth or education.

Solomon Ben David, better known as King Solomon, found that a person could live without health, wealth or even a formal education but not without a solid moral foundation. He recommended worship. His solution has passed the test of time.

Before we begin to distribute hearing aids to frogs perhaps we ought to re-examine our conclusions. If we don’t know the cause of the problems we can’t provide the right solutions. Maybe it is time to heed the advice of Solomon—worship. See you in church?

Public Civility

Slurp, sluuurp, sluuuurp emanates from the other side of the table. “Micah, you are only allowed two slurps and that was three.”

“Who makes up these rules?” gurgles the mouth at the end of the straw.

“Emily Post.”

“Why?”

“So parents can enjoy a quiet meal.”

“We’ll I think it’s stupid.”

“Can you imagine how loud a meal would be if everybody slurped?”

“I still think it’s stupid. Why do I need to know this stuff?”

I don’t know if you have ever had a conversation like this at your house but similar conversations take place every week at our house and I am glad they do. It shows that we have yet not given up on manners.

I confess I didn’t appreciate some of my lessons when I was being instructed but I am now thankful for my parents’ instruction and for the free classes in etiquette given me by Miss Eaves. During the summer of 1963 I had a private tutor, former English teacher and dining room hostess, Miss Eaves.

I was working away from home as a lifeguard at a conference center. Of all the plans I had for the summer none included private instruction in table manners. However, I did plan to eat well that summer and that is how I came in contact with Miss Eaves. She was in charge of the dining room.

After a few practical jokes at the supper table I found myself seated next to guess who? She made it her goal that summer not only to keep me in line but also to show me how to sit at a table and eat like a gentleman.

I learned how to butter bread (there is a proper way to do this). I learned how to sit up straight. I learned that some behavior is not appropriate at a table.

Do I continue to practice all I learned that summer? No, but I can eat a meal without people at the next table hearing me chew. When I finish a drink no one in the next room knows I have reached the bottom of the glass.

To echo my son though, I can ask, “Is it really that important?”

My answer is, “Manners are one of the things that distinguish us from animals.”
As manners go so goes society.

When I visit new mothers I often remind them they have been given a great responsibility. They hold in their hands an uncivilized, illiterate, unspeaking creature and it is the job of mothers and fathers to teach that child to walk, talk, speak and adjust to society. We are never more than one generation away from barbarianism.

I can, at least, wonder would happen to society if one generation decided to skip the lessons on table manners. I, for one, would prefer to stay at home to eat. It would be much quieter there; at least that is what I am working on right now.